A Little Mommy Guilt

So I just read a beautifully written article on mommy hood, Friendly Fire.  The article is about the debate between being a SAHM or a working mom.  Truthfully that is not the topic about which I am writing today.  However, she also hit on my topic which is mommy guilt.

Today I am sharing (in an effort to rid myself of) my current BIG-TIME mommy guilt.  This weekend my husband and I are taking a well needed adult vacation.  A few months back I thought I had been thorough in checking schedules for a truly open weekend.  However, I am not sure this really exists.  Alas, after the the date had been chosen there it was on my calendar.  Previously I had missed it, but at that moment it stood out in big capital letters, and in red no less.

WESTERN DAY

Now if you find yourself reading this post and are not a parent you may not be aware of the significance of Western Day to a child.  It is a day in which us city folk dress up in our pristine (because of the lack of appropriate use) western wear and celebrate cowboys, cowgirls, cowpokes, etc.  This is a shot from Western Day last year.

 

So, anyway this is a BIG day in the life of a child.  And there next to the words WESTERN DAY on my calendar is this little thing: 2:15.  Now all you parents know what that means . . . assembly.  And an assembly means a performance, as you can plainly see from above picture.

Now for the guilt part of this post.  I did discover this calendar conflict before the final reservations were made and we could have just postponed our flights until later in the day.  My wonderful hubby and all others involved in the weekend said that they were fine with leaving later in the day.  However, we would lose a whole day of our time away and the big decision was left in my incapable hands.  Incapable because I was in a darned if I did, darned if I didn't situation.  You guys know what I mean.  If we stayed then the kids wouldn't perform well, but if we missed it then everyone in the entire school would be texting me telling me my kids stole the whole show.  Alas, I did what anyone might do in my position . . . left the decision up to my hubby, one who is not plagued with mommy-guilt, and pushed it to the recesses of my mind.

Now the time has arrived and the gnawing is back.  I have arranged for my wonderful friends to take pictures and videos for me; and on Friday morning I will dress them to the nines in their pristine western garb, send them off to school, then scurry out of town with my tail between my legs (mommy-guilt in tow).  

Help in the Kitchen

Okay, so if you don't know this already I am a control FREAK!!  And I mean to the extreme.  For example, it has taken me years of cooking to release the idea of always using a recipe.  I must admit it feels nice to not be so reigned in by the recipe.

Now, though, I need to tackle the big task of allowing my kids to cook with me.  I read all these blogs about these moms who let their very little kids help them in the kitchen.  Every time I try it becomes a bad situation.  The kids just make such big messes and it stresses me to think about twice as much cleaning.

So, here is where I am starting . . . I am trying to really embrace and enjoy cleaning the kitchen.  I figure if I think of the cleaning part as me time then I might actually WANT a bigger mess.  Bigger mess = more time cleaning = more me time.  Sounds feasible, right??  :-)

My other challenge is being okay with the fact that the meal might not turn out just right with the kids helping.  This is another tough one because to think of all that work and food just wasted makes me sad.  So, I need to think of the cooking as the best part and enjoying the meal at the end is just an extra perk.  This is my new goal.

Yesterday I was making homemade french bread and Sean was just dying to get his hands on the flour and the dough.  I must admit that I nixed him playing in the flour, but I did let him knead the dough.  He loved it!  So, the bread turned out a little dense, but we still enjoyed it all the same.

Success!

I must check in to report that my "non-resolution" 2012 is going great so far.  I seem to be accomplishing more by not trying so hard to meet those silly (sometimes unattainable) goals.

Now for my non-success.  I am not writing on my blog as regularly as I would like.  One of my biggest issues is that I write from passion and the pitfall of that is I don't always feel "inspired" to write.  So here is the big question if anyone has any advice . . . How do I make myself write everyday??  

2012

So I guess you could say that its not the best sign that I am making my first post of the new year and it's already the 6th.  Oh well.  I have decided that this will be a good year, but I am not making any resolutions.  I feel that resolutions are a failure trap.  We all want to resolve to do something that we have never been able to do with nothing more to motivate us than the fact that a number has changed in the date.  Now I am not saying this in a negative way, just that so many people (myself included) fail at keeping their resolutions.  Then they laugh it off and say "Oh well, I will just start that next year."  Sound familiar to anyone??  It does to me.

So, this year NO RESOLUTIONS . . . just a commitment to be the best wife, mother, child of God, runner, Sunday school teacher, etc. that I can be!!

Will I continue to better myself and grow and learn??

Well of course!  And on that note

Happy Belated New Year to all!!  May you all have a blessed year and find success, or wisdom and strength through failure, in all you attempt in 2012!